Hello Everybody! As a gay person who considers moving to Portugal, I would love to know more about the general attitude and the vibe there in regards to the LGBTQ community.
I traveled to Portugal before but because I was there only for a short time I would not say I got a sense of what living there as a gay person really is like.
Bem-vindo @davinsclin! An interesting topic! I can only add one tiny anecdote to this question. I am in the process of obtaining Portuguese citizenship through marriage to a Portuguese citizen. When he and I went, in person, to the Conservatória dos Registos Centrais in Lisbon, the woman case worker who talked with us was very kind, cordial, and completely non-discriminatory and non-judgmental.
Olá, @davinsclin and welcome You’ll be FINE. Like in any other country, there is homophobia, but the Portuguese are generally mild-mannered and prefer to mind their own business regardless of their personal thoughts, and I’ll risk saying this is true no matter where in the country you go (there are always exceptions, but that applies to the whole world). It’s especially true in the bigger cities or more touristy areas. Some people may stare if they suspect you are gay, many out of simple curiosity. People can also be very gossipy, but they generally won’t bother you or reject you just for your sexuality. As a foreigner, you probably get even more of a pass to be/do whatever, within reason, because for the locals, you’re already “different” anyway. PDA beyond holding hands or the occasional quick peck is not appreciated (for any gender combination); otherwise, I wouldn’t worry about moving to Portugal.
For whatever’s worth:
Everything I said above is a fairly accurate (I hope!) surface-level description of what to expect in your case. The reality for someone growing up here and dealing with potentially very conservative families and communities all around them may or may not be very different, so I don’t want to generalize too much.
Regarding the video of the two men in their contrived “social experiment,” while it was informative to see the mild reactions in Portugal, no one, in my opinion, should ever purposely go out of their way to egregiously offend people in other cultures whose norms are different. I question the true purpose of these two men.
Hmm. I see your point about being respectful, and it is a good one. As a general concept, I will toast to that. When in Brussels, I dress more nicely than I would for similar functions in the US. Even west coast to east coast of the US has a difference in formality, and I try to dress up or down as expected. It is simply easier on those around me.
And yet, I am not ready to imagine that holding hands in public should be seen as disrespectful. Rather, in the non-Portuguese countries where the men were beaten – perhaps we could spare a moment to reflect upon how disrespectful that reaction is?
It takes some courage to change norms. As forms of civil protest go, being young and openly in love seems a relatively delightful way to nudge equality forward.
But I do see how attempting to change a society that is not originally your own clashes with the notion of being a good guest. There can be multiple values in play.
In any case, it is beautiful to see Lisbon is not a place of violence and hate. Unsurprising, but beautiful.
Hi, @portugal! Bom dia! Yes, there was certainly disrespect on both sides, even more so on the side of the attackers! What I labeled as disrespectful was the purposely “in your face” manner in which the two young men went about it, i.e., holding hands, walking 4 feet apart, and swinging their arms to make sure everyone saw them. It wasn’t a natural gesture of affection, more like a display. (Why am I thinking Borat here! ). But, to bring it back to being relevant for us lovers of Practice Portuguese, the reactions in Portugual were actually sweet!
No idea but perhaps they had to troll a little to get any reaction in Lisbon – or have nothing to film. Agreed, very sweet in Portugal, and I hope it will ease concerns for those looking to move there.
To bring this back to the original question, a Portuguese friend is gay and finds it easier not to tell his parents. He thinks they would be supportive, and indeed he thinks they know and nothing changed, but they live in a traditional area. He fears it would be harder on them if they could not shrug when friends ask why he is not married. His sister lives in a city; she only cares that he is happy. He is open at work and socially outside the small village he grew up in, and has had no problems. This is only one story, but @Joseph’s reply matches what I hear from my friend.
I totally agree with you. If holding hands in public is generally regarded as disrespectful in the Portuguese culture regardless of people’s sexual orientation, I would be more than glad to refrain from holding hands with my significant other; however, if holding hands is regarded as disrespectful only when it comes to certain group of people, I would call it “discrimination” instead and I would be more than glad to challenge that.
I think like in many western countries where being gay is not a big deal, it seems to be accepted by society. As for PDAs, I personally don’t make out in public with my partner, if I have someone, in public. I save that for the privacy of my home. I think that should be the normal for both gay and straight couples. Holding hands, a kiss here and there is fine but full on making out is a bit too much for all sexual orientations.
Also, shameless promotion, if there are any Portuguese guys living in NYC who are single - I am single too! And for those learning Portuguese - I’m single as well!
I’m not one to go to clubs or anything. But Lisbon always has two LGBT festivals in June (during normal times) the parade (orgulho gay) and a large open air festival (arraial lisboa pride) in the large square near the river, praça de comércio put on by the gay help center ILGA on two different weekends.
Also, I found a couple of old soap operas with major gay lines on YouTube: I don’t know who the owner of the channel Safe Lite is, but he or she put together an interesting series of videos of the gay timeline. Of course soap operas don’t necessarily reflect life, but it does say something. https://www.youtube.com/c/SafeLight7
I used to watch Safe Light on Youtube about 4 years ago to help with my Portuguese! Very interesting how he edited an episode of the soap just to show the gay storyline. He also offered captions in English and other languages which helped with understanding. Unfortunately he did not offer Portuguese captions other than the auto generated ones which can be less than helpful!
Yeah, it’s difficult to find cc for shows in Portugal. Even though I used to watch a Brazilian soap opera one vacation in Rio years ago that had legendas, I haven’t seen anything recently from there that has them. It helped alot.
My experience of Portugal is limited so far, so take this for what it’s worth. My husband and I are planning to move to Portugal in August to get our residency permit and will be settling in Lisbon. We traveled to Portugal together 2 years ago to investigate, spending time in Tavira, Lisbon, Coimbra, Porto, Evora and a beautiful former monastery converted to a hotel in the country not too far from Evora. We are in our late fifties and while we don’t go around wearing rainbow flags, we’re completely open about being gay and you’d have to be clueless to not realize we’re a gay couple. I can say in all honesty that we never felt the least bit uncomfortable in any way anywhere we went in Portugal. And if anything, I’m on the paranoid side about being safe as a gay man in the world. My sense is that Portugal is still a somewhat religious and traditional country compared to other places in Western Europe, but that even if somebody didn’t 100% approve of gay people or same-sex marriage, it would be pretty rare for them to let you know it. We studied at a language school in Lisbon and asked some of our teachers about the issue and they all said basically that in the larger cities it’s pretty much a complete non-issue and that if we decided to go live in some small town, people might talk about us behind our backs a bit but even there we’d be treated OK.
Although it’s a bit of a cliche at this point, I found Portuguese people, almost without exception, to be some of the kindest, most polite, most welcoming people I’ve encountered anywhere in the world.
If you’re looking for a gay mecca like New York, San Francisco, etc, there’s nothing like that in Portugal as far as I can tell (although of course there are gay bars and clubs in the bigger cities), but otherwise, I don’t think any gay person should hesitate to travel to or move to Portugal.
Bem-vindo
I think your perception of Portugal is pretty much the same as ours. My husband and I live in the Algarve and although there is not quite the same ‘scene’ as you would find in Lisbon and Porto, we have found people to be very accepting. The vast majority of Portuguese seem to have a ‘live and let live attitude’ and with that comes a respect for all peoples and lifestyles. That said, as with everywhere, there is a small minority with a narrow view of the world. We have particularly found how non-discriminatory the ‘officialdom’ here is. Your rights are always observed, respected and met without a second thought given. We are from the UK and you can still come across people there who suddenly act very uncomfortable when you say you are a same-sex couple. Here in Portugal we feel very much at ease and can be the people we are. (We have lived here for 4 years now)
I am sure you will find the same here and be very happy.
Wishing you both the best.
@ruicoimbra@joelrendall Acabei de completar a lição sobre a igualdade (Unidade: Living in Society) e queria agradecer ao Rui e o Joel (e também os colegas deles) pela inclusão de expressões LGBTI. Para nós que identificamos como LGBTI é muito importante sabermos a linguagem para que descrevamos as nossas vidas mas, ao mesmo tempo, conscientizar desta questão para pessoas não LGBTI. Acho que isto é inovador nos cursos de Línguas Estrangeiras. Vocês são excelentes role-models da nossa comunidade. Obrigadíssimo!