Quick comments:
“Setenta” is 70.Mutio obrigardo de novo!
Re UTM, 60 ou 70 - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Universal_Transverse_Mercator_coordinate_system disse 60 - portando, eu usava-o
Ah! Como na tua tradução inglesa escreveste 70, “sessenta” não batia certo. Mas, afinal, a tradução é que não estava alinhada
Como se fala em português "D’oh!!’
[ Secção 8]
Estevão pesquisava para duas semanas todas às zonas para às posições.
(Steven searched for 2 weeks all the zones for the positions)
Muito estavam no oceano, ou um campo. Não estão interesante.
(Many were in the ocean or in the countryside. They were not interesting)
Dois outros estavam nàs cidades ou suburbios. Não estavam interesante também.
(Two others were in cities or suburbs. They were not interesting either)
Ele fazia abandonado o pesquisa e esqueceu-o.
(He abandonded the search and forgot about it)
Duas semanas passada, a meia da noite, o telemóvel tocou e acordou o Estevão. Atendeu-o e ouvia uma palavra única.
(Two weeks later, at midnight, the telephone rang and work Steven. He answered it and heard a single word)
— Porquê? – disse uma voz com menança.
(Why? - said a meancing voice)
Então o telemóvel desligou.
(Then the telephone disconnected)
Podes dizer assim mesmo, também usamos essa expressão! 
So, you have to keep gender/number agreement in mind the whole time. For example, each time you’re describing the “zonas” (zonas), every relevant word (quantifiers, articles, adjectives…) related to it has to remain feminine and plural (as applicable).
Then, to distinguish between a and à, this Learning Note might help a bit: https://www.practiceportuguese.com/learning-notes/the-preposition-a/
And this forum topic: How to pronounce há vs. à vs. a
Finally, while not mandatory, it’s convenient to explicitly mention the subject whenever it’s different from the one in the previous sentence. It’s why I added “(Estevão/Ele)” at the start of one of the sentences
Indeed - as a native English speaker - it’s hard for me to ‘just see this’ - more practice needed.
Also, I’ve really been working the preterite vs imperfect & when to use which. Not easy… I may post my notes in another topic for others to comment/correct.
[Secção 9]
De manhã, Estevão consultava o telemóvel. Era o número do Ucrânia de novo.
(In the morning, Steven consulted the phone. It was the Ukranian number again)
– Alguém discava o número errado – disse Estevão.
(Some dialed a wrong number, said Steven)
Apôs de duas semanas, Estevão recibia um e-mail sobre de um colega de trabalho, chama-se Pitor.
(After two weeks, Steven received an email about a work colleague, named Pitor)
O Pitor foi morto. O e-mail foi sem detalhes por que a família de Pitor tinham pedir privacidade.
(Pitor was dead. The e-mail was without details because Pitor’s family had requested privacy)
Now with corrections
Again - many thanks. Here my confusion was around preterit vs imperfect. I thought that the imperfect was to be used when describing a narrative. Also, the use of tinha vs tinham - I thought that since I was describing the family, it would be the vocês form, not você. I guess family is singular, not plural.
[Secção 10]
Mais tarde, Estevão falava com uma colega Stefan…
(Later, Steven was speaking with a colleague - Stefan)
— Pobre Pitor — disse Stefan
(Poor Pitor - said Stefan)
— Sim, claro — respondou Estevão — Sabes o que tinha acontecido-lhe?
(Yes, indeed - responded Steven - Do you know what happened to him?)
— Ouvi a polícia descobriu corpo dele na Lago Stevens. Tinha afogado.
(I heard the police discovered his body in Lake Stevens. He had drowned).
Estevão fechava os olhos dele. Ele não queria imaginar isso visão.
(Steven closed his eyes. He didn’t want to imagine that vision)
It’s hard to explain and even harder to learn how to choose between imperfect and simple past. When you’re describing a sequence of events or actions set in the past in a straightforward way, the simple past is the usual choice.
For an indirect narration of character thoughts, if the character is 1) thinking about something that already occurred, the simple past or the past perfect are likely to be used. If the character is 2) thinking about something happening at that moment, the imperfect is preferred.
João viu uma grande desordem em casa. Quem fez/tinha feito aquilo? (João saw a big mess at home. Who did/had done that?) - First case
Entretanto, alguém bateu à porta. Quem estava ali? (Meanwhile, someone knocked at the door. Who was there?) - Second case
If the thoughts are expressed in the first person, the above doesn’t apply.
To indicate a location or describe the current state/condition of someone or something (physically, emotionally, etc.), the imperfect is also a better option, especially if “pushed” by verbs such as estar.
To indicate habitual past actions/events, the imperfect is also the tense of choice.
^ These are just some examples. Feel free to ask about specific situations that I may have missed! Also, as you guessed, família (family) has a plural sense, but it’s a singular noun, so we treat it as such
(I’ll check out the new section later)
[secção 11 - este dia tem muito calor no EUA - escreveu 3 paginas por causa minha casa tem ar condicionado… abaixo é a próxima secção…]
Estevão escreveu um e-mail que oferendou-se condolêcas a familia de Pitor. Quando estava acabado, ele voltou no trabalho e esqueceu-se.
(Steven wrote an email offering his condolences to Pitor’s family. When he finished, he returned to work and forgot about it)
These are fun to follow. I get quite a lot of what you write, but still not enough to follow on my own without the translation… At least you keep your sentences relatively short, and I appreciate that.
With the heat this past week, I went to the library to relish the AC and pounded out 3 pages more. To be posted piece-meal, of course. Glad it’s helping you ('cause it’s really helping me…)
Section 10:
Section 11:
Obrigado de novo.
Just making sure it is still OK to continue to post these. I don’t want to burden anyone (@Joseph) with the corrections. I have another three pages written, that I can continue to post.
If this is helping people, I’m happy to continue, but if it’s not helping, or causing too much work for others, please let me know.
You’re welcome, @stephencanthony. Don’t worry about me, in terms of workload. Whether it’s helping other people or not, depends on who’s following. Let’s see if anyone else has something to say.
Actually, I enjoy these very much. The sentences are too difficult for me to write on my own. but I understand much of what is written. With the translation, I eliminate those times when I am not sure or even totally confused. Not only is this helpful, but very much appreciated. It is the closest thing to actually having a teacher to interact with. I would personally like to see more of this. Thanks to both Stephen and Joseph.
The people have spoken! Many thanks for the kind words. I’ll continue posting anon…